I spent a long time deciding whether to share this story at all. My name is Petra, I’m 39 years old, and a year ago everything at home fell apart at once. My husband had an accident and was on sick leave for several months, then we got a huge bill for utilities, and our washing machine broke down. It was one of those times when you have no idea how you’ll pay for everything. That’s when a longtime friend offered me a helping hand, but I soon realized this loan came with a huge price.
Loan Out of Sympathy and a Big Mistake With a Verbal Agreement
I was never used to asking for help. I was always the one who just toughed things out. But we needed to quickly pay the overdue bill and at least buy a secondhand washing machine. I told my friend Lenka about it over coffee—we’ve known each other for almost fifteen years. She offered to lend me twenty thousand crowns. I didn’t want to accept, but she insisted, saying that’s what friends are for.
Now I know that leaving the agreement as just a verbal deal was a huge mistake. We agreed I’d send her two thousand a month as soon as my husband was back at work. I kept paying. Whenever I was late or could only send less, I always texted her and apologized. She said it was fine. At least, that’s what I thought the whole time.
Sarcastic Remarks and Constant Guilt
But gradually, her attitude changed. At first, it was just little things. When we were at a café and I ordered coffee, she’d quip: “Well, at least you have money for a latte.” She laughed like it was a joke, but it left a bitter taste in my mouth. Another time, I posted a photo on social media from a simple train trip with some ice cream. Lenka commented: “Some people have it good.”
I started to be afraid to buy anything or go anywhere, just so she wouldn’t think I was spending her money. But the worst was feeling like a little girl in front of her, having to explain every single crown I spent.
Public Humiliation in Front of Others and Bitter Tears
The breaking point came at a birthday party for a mutual friend. There were about ten of us sitting in the garden. One friend asked me where I got my new blouse. Before I could answer that it was on sale for two hundred, Lenka laughed out loud:
“See, there’s money for clothes, but debts get paid back slowly.”
Everyone went silent. I could feel my face burning. Some women looked away, one laughed nervously. I quietly told Lenka she didn’t have to say that in front of everyone. She just shrugged and said she was telling the truth. Yes, I owed her. But I never ran away, I just wasn’t paying it back as quickly as she would have liked. After a while, I excused myself and went home, where I completely broke down in the bathroom.
We Sold Everything Just to Get Rid of the Debt
My husband was furious. We sat down with our accounts, he sold old tools, I took extra shifts, and my mom helped with groceries. Within three weeks, I sent Lenka the rest of the money with a message saying her behavior at the party had really hurt me. Instead of an apology, I got a cold reply: “At least now you see that if you really want to, you can do it.”
Today, we’re finally out of the worst. We pay our bills on time. But what hurts most isn’t the twenty thousand—I paid that back honestly. What hurts is losing someone I trusted. Even if someone owes you, it doesn’t give you the right to humiliate them in front of others. I learned that a debt between friends is never just a number. It changes the balance. Suddenly, you’re no longer two friends—one is the generous helper, the other is the one who owes. I paid back the money. But the lost trust—no one will ever give that back to me.
This text was written based on a reader’s story. Names have been changed and photos are for illustration only.
💬 Join the Discussion!
They say if you want to lose a friend, lend them money. Unfortunately, this story shows just how destructive financial help can be for a long-term friendship, and how easily an offer of help can turn into a tool for humiliation. Have you ever experienced a situation where a loan ruined your relationship with someone close? Do you think it’s better to borrow from a bank with interest than risk losing a friendship? Share your experiences in the comments below!
